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Jealousy

Jealousy is one of the toughest feelings we come up against in our lives. There is nothing much worse than the aching sense that somehow life has been unfair to us, while amply rewarding someone else. It’s even worse if that someone else is present in our daily lives, making it difficult for us to get the space we need to feel and heal our pain. We may be jealous of a sibling, a dear friend, or even famous personalities. We may even face the challenge of feeling jealous of our spouse, our child, or one of our parents. Whatever the case, we can normalise our experience by understanding that, as painful as it is, jealousy is a commonplace human feeling. 

Nevertheless, it is important that we not revel in our jealousy for too long, feeding it with inner talk or gossip with others. If we do, we run the risk of losing ourselves to its negative power.

When we are jealous of certain people, we want what they have, and if we are to be conscious, we must acknowledge that. In this way, we discover what we want for ourselves, which is the first step to getting it. It may be a certain kind of relationship or a career. Whatever it is, it is possible that we could create it for ourselves, in our own lives, if we are able to honour our own needs and desires. 

Of course, there are times when we cannot heal our jealousy in this way, and then the lesson may be about acceptance and the understanding that our path is different from the paths of those around us. It may be hard to see now, but perhaps it will eventually be clear why our life has taken its particular path. In the end, the best cure for jealousy is the recognition that the life we have is full of its own meaning and beauty, utterly unique to us - a gift that could never be found in the life of another.

Relationships – and jealousy in particular – provide an opportunity to come to a fundamental understanding of the self. Overcoming jealousy is like changing any emotional reaction or behaviour: it begins with awareness. Awareness allows you to see that the projected stories in your mind are not true. When you have this clarity you no longer react to the scenarios that your mind conjures up and imagines.

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mockthe meat it feeds on ~ William Shakespeare, Othello

Jealousy

 

 
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